Survival Tips for Couples (and Singles) During This Valentine Season

At this time of year there are many people who don’t have a significant other and so many articles come out around how to love yourself and the various things you can do to make Valentine’s Day special just on your own or with your friends. So what about if you do have a significant other, how can we bring more mindfulness to the relationship to make Valentine’s Day a reminder for reconnection?

There’s a lot of pressure that comes with the package of this day, restaurants are booked, a lot of money can be spent, and there can even be resentment for having to do something special on a particular day. Sometimes we lose sight on what this day is all about.

The bottom line: The purpose of Valentine’s Day is to share love and affection between two intimate companions.

What would it be like no matter what you do on this day to hold this intention?

We can take a lesson from mindfulness to see how this might work. Often times as a mindfulness exercise we’ll hold the intention to focus on the breath only to find that our minds wander off. It’s not our fault that the mind wanders off; it’s just what the mind does. It’s our job to notice that it wandered, where it wandered to, and gently guide it back to our intention.

We can do this very same thing with whatever we choose to do on Valentine’s Day or the time around this day.

I recommend communicating this love and affection if it’s there. What is it you love about this person? In what ways do you intend to foster and strengthen your connection throughout this next year? Is there a way to build little Valentine’s Days throughout the year?

Whatever you come up with, I guarantee you you’ll find your mind wandering through this time onto other things besides your affection for one another. When this happens, just take note where your mind wandered do, and gently and lovingly guide it back to being with the person your care about.

Just play with this as an experiment without any judgment, see what happens.

If you are alone on this Valentine’s Day or are spending time with friends, you can apply this same thing to yourself or the people you’re with.

As always, please share your thoughts, stories and questions below. Your interaction creates a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.

Reposted from Elisha Goldstein’s Mindfulness Blog on

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